Cut in a sea glass green that absolutely screams “summer home with suspiciously low property taxes,” this quarter-zip is your official uniform for pretending you’ve been on the member roster since Reagan’s second term.
The fit? Athletic but not thirsty. Tailored enough to suggest discipline. Relaxed enough to imply you’ve never once worried about a dress code violation.
And there it is the Stogie Springs crest. Tastefully scaled. Not billboard-sized. Not sheepish. Just large enough for someone across the putting green to think,
“Is that real?”
The gorilla doesn’t beg for attention. He already owns the cart fleet. Gold chain. Cigar. Calm dominance. He represents the exact energy you bring to a Saturday tee time: controlled excess with plausible deniability.
This quarter-zip is engineered for:
– 7:30 a.m. tee times you scheduled “last minute”
– Mid-round debates about whose dad knows the greenskeeper
– Sunset cocktails that accidentally become a “strategy meeting”
It pairs well with white skirts, leather loafers, or an inherited watch you “don’t really talk about.” It also pairs well with irony. Because you know country club culture is absurd… but you also kind of love it.
Cut in a sea glass green that absolutely screams “summer home with suspiciously low property taxes,” this quarter-zip is your official uniform for pretending you’ve been on the member roster since Reagan’s second term.
The fit? Athletic but not thirsty. Tailored enough to suggest discipline. Relaxed enough to imply you’ve never once worried about a dress code violation.
And there it is the Stogie Springs crest. Tastefully scaled. Not billboard-sized. Not sheepish. Just large enough for someone across the putting green to think,
“Is that real?”
The gorilla doesn’t beg for attention. He already owns the cart fleet. Gold chain. Cigar. Calm dominance. He represents the exact energy you bring to a Saturday tee time: controlled excess with plausible deniability.
This quarter-zip is engineered for:
– 7:30 a.m. tee times you scheduled “last minute”
– Mid-round debates about whose dad knows the greenskeeper
– Sunset cocktails that accidentally become a “strategy meeting”
It pairs well with white skirts, leather loafers, or an inherited watch you “don’t really talk about.” It also pairs well with irony. Because you know country club culture is absurd… but you also kind of love it.